Author Unknown

MOM ADVISE

One afternoon, a fantasy of mine came true. Oh, I don't mean the passionate running-away-to-live-with-Fabio-in-a-cottage-by-the-sea type fantasy. I'm talking about the other kind - revenge.  A young mother with a new baby in the stroller. A new baby!
              
Call me strange, but I couldn't wait to walk right up to her and start saying things like, "I think the baby is hungry" or “what do you mean she's not eating bowls of cereal yet?" And, "why isn't the baby wearing a hat?"
       
Of course I wasn't always this way.  But there's something about being the recipient of several years worth of unsolicited advice that somehow changes you in mysterious ways. Face it, when you venture out of the house with a baby, people who normally wouldn't dare speak to you, can't wait to point out ways you can improve yourself as a parent. And let me just say that no place is safe.  Once you have a child, no matter where you go, little old ladies will come flying out of the woodwork to give you pointers on all sorts of things like how to cure gas and avoid constipation. 
       
So, you probably understand, then, why I could hardly contain myself when I saw a mother with a new baby. 
       
But truth be told, when I looked down at the baby all that came out of my mouth was: "Gee, what beautiful blue eyes he has." Granted, it wasn't a very helpful or especially insightful thing to say but, some day she'll thank me for it.

WHAT IS EASY TO LOSE AND HARD TO FIND MORE OF?

What is easy to lose and hard to find more of, yet so important when it comes to dealing with kids?  Patience! 
“It's a quality that can make the difference between harmony and discord in family life. It's also a choice. We can learn to be more patient with our kids” - Susan Spicer

Can you actually learn to be more patient?  Patience can be developed over time — it’s a habit, and like any other habit, it just takes some focus. Angry outbursts towards your children can leave you feeling guilty and upset.

Here are tips and methods to help you become a more patient parent:

1. Count to 10

When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away. Alternatively, if you count out loud to 10, your kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away. :)

2. Deep breaths

This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.

3. Pretend to have an audience

You’re less likely to overreact with your child if someone’s there watching your every move.

4. Ask yourself - How does this help my child?

This helps you to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation.

5. Take a break

Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.

6. Visualize

This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.

7. Just laugh

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, and be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.

8. Love

Your child spills something or has a messy room or breaks your family heirloom? Yells at you or gets in trouble at school? React with love. It’s the best solution.

My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean t-shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one t- shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter.